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I am so emotional right now …
I wish all of my pain could go away.
And I am at the cottage again , sitting down writing this poem.
And thinking about my depression and how emotional I am .
It has been 11 months since my dark lover has leave me.
And I haven’t been myself since he leave me.
My wrist is scar free for 10 months .
But sometime I wish I could just kill myself and not worry about my life any more.
My heart is black and cold .
We are at the lake for the second time.
The fire is bright and the weather is cold but beautiful .
I have all the time in the world to relax and not think about you .
The water is so clam and quiet .
It finally day time and I don’t sleep at all last night .
I was up all night thinking about you .
And I know that you have pass on .
And now I know you are one with the earth.
And I am happy about that .
A month pass by and I am standing over you tombstone.
Tears fall down the my face.
Now I can’t stop crying .
I don’t understand why I cry so much when I see your tombstone.
I am tired of cry all the time.
It a full moon tonight and every other night this week.
The weather is still cold and I am still emotional .
So I start writing in my diary again and again.
Trying to understand what is make me emotional all the time.
So I make cup of tea and I light up the fireplace .
And I start thinking about life .
Than I start to cry because every time I think about my life, I start thinking the things I regret doing when you were still alive .
The one thing I do regret doing is letting you leave me that day when you die.
I feel so sorry for letting you dead.
I am so sorry for hurting you.
I love you very much.
And I never wanted you to leave me.
Now I am hurting from the lose of you.
Your death really damaged me.
I cry all the time.
I wish that you were still alive to take care of me.
I wish I could stop crying over your death.
I am still at the cottage.
The fire is bright and the stars are out.
And my family is with me.
My family has no idea how damaged and depression I am.
I wish that they could understand whut I am going through.
They will never understand whut I am going through.
I cry a lot since you have dead.
And no one understand me.
I wish my family and everybody else could understand me.
It’s raining outside.
There is a full moon tonight and it is so bright.
There is black crows outside in the rain.
I lock myself in my room tonight and I am crying again.
I miss you.
I miss being with you.
I cried myself to sleep last night.
And now it’s daytime and it’s still raining.
I just wish for this pain to go away.
I am still here at the cottage.
I am one peace here at the cottage.
I wish you could be here with me.
Please I wish you could be with me.
I am so lonely without you.
I cry all the time because you are not here me.
Please come back to me, not in person but in spirit.
It always rains down here at the cottage.
I am in back pain right now.
I am depressed too.
I wish I had someone to take care of me.
Please goddess bring someone into my life.
Someone who could take care of me.
I am so lonely here at the cottage.
It’s fall and the leaves are turning colors .
I may has leave the cottage but my spirit has remained here at this place.
My remembers of your death would remained with me forever.
But now I have to live my life without in it.
This is the last time I will be here at the cottage.
Good bye my lover.
- Mood:
anxious
Today I feel so emotional right now..
I hate this feeling.
I hate feeling so emotional.
I wish this feeling would going away.
I am walk home and it started to rain and I wishing that you were back with me.
I was in heaven when you were with me.
Since you leave me it has been hell.
I wish you could understand how I been feeling.
But you wouldn’t understand anything about my feeling.
You would never understand anything about me.
It is still raining very hard.
And I lock myself in my room never to see again.
One day I would kill myself.
And you will never see me again after that.
The month pass by and I am still thinking about you.
So I look outside my window the only things I can see are black crows.
The black crows are so beautiful.
The years pass by and today is day that my lover came back to me.
And he kept on saying that he was sorry for leaving you again, and I will not do that
Again please take me back.
Now I realist that you will never come back to me.
You have leave me for good and you never come back me.
A few month has pass by.
And a handsome, dark guy came knock at my door.
He was pale white , and hair was black and he take me by the hand and kiss it.
Another month has by and felt so happy being with you.
And than he finally ask me to marry him.
The wedding was beautiful and dark.
The first time in my life I realist how dark you really are.
He cut my wrist up and start drinking my blood and now I know whut he is .
He is my dark lord .
He is a vampire.
Every night he would go into my room, and try to bite my neck.
Normally she kept on saying no you can’t do this to me I am your wife.
So the dark lord take a razor-blade to my wrist and cut up my wrist and drinking my blood.
And after he drink my blood he take me into the other room and he left me there and he lock me in my room.
He left me food and water beside the doorway.
Whut should I do ?
Should I stay with him nor should I leave him right now ?
Another month pass by and I am still in room.
I can taste blood and metal in my mouth.
It is pass midnight and he come into the room with a razorblade in his hand.
The pain you caused me never will go away.
The abuse you put me through never will go away.
The cuts on my wrist will never go away.
I will never leave this place alive.
I look outside my window and it is raining.
It is always raining here.
I hate watching the rain fall down.
My husband is never around any more.
And he keep me lock up with no food and water.
Years has pass by.
And I still in this room.
I am weak and tired and I am hate myself for getting in this relationship.
So I broken the window open, glass is everywhere.
My wrist is bleeding and try to get out of the room.
So I jump out the window.
And think I broken my legs jump the window.
I try to get up and I keep on falling down.
And than I notion my husband was outside and he notion that I was bleeding and my legs broken.
So I start run away from him and than he start to run after me hold his gun.
So run faster.
I notioned that there was old Church so I run into the old Church.
And than I start to pray for forget.
I can hear gun shot coming from outside the Church .
So I start to pray some more so he could hear me.
Some how I knew he would shot me for leaving him.
I could just picture it how.
I wish he could leave me alone.
But I knew he can’t do that the find me in the church and said that “ I will never let you leave me and the next time you try and leave me I will kill you.”
So take his gun and I shot myself.
Before I kill myself I tell him I will never be your NEVER AGAIN.
This is the end for me.
Sometime I wish I had a best life at the end.
There is a lot of things I doing regret in my life.
- Mood: anxious
I am at the lake and I hoping to see your face again.
Here at the lake its so beautiful and peaceful.
It take away all of my pain and depression, and all the sadness in this world.
Here at the lake.
I don’t have think about you.
I don’t have cry every time I think about you.
I feel so free out here.
It feel like the clear air has healed me just for this weekend.
Here at the lake.
The water is nice and clean.
Right now I feel so at peace.
Sometime I wonder why you can’t stay with me.
Sometime I wonder why you can’t stay in this relationship with me.
When I am at home I feel so lost and rejected by you.
When I am at home, I cry when I think about you, because I know I will never be with you again.
And never able to see your face again.
Here at the lake.
I feel much better here at the lake.
At night it is so clear and pitch black.
The stars are so bright.
The fire is burning so bright.
Here at the lake.
Sometime wonder why you left me.
I hope know that I loved you, and I hope you know what you are doing.
I still wish you could be part of my life still.
Now I know you could never be part of my life never again.
I am here at the lake when we both meet.
Here at the lake.
- Mood:
bored
Dear my love.
I never wanted to hurt you like I did.
I am so sorry for everything I have done.
I miss being with you.
I wish one day you would be mine again.
I hope one day would you forgive me for everything I say and done.
I made some many mistake in my life, but I never regret be with you.
I never want to end things like I did.
I hope one day find someone who will make you happy.
But I was not that person could make you happy.
I wish I could been that person that would make you happy.
I am so sorry for putting through this .
I will always love you.
Please don’t forgot me or the time we spent together.
I never forgot you or the time we spent together.
Since I leave you have been tears all the time.
I really miss being right by you.
I miss everything about you.
I miss being in you arms.
I never wanted to hurt you.
But its wasn’t working out for us.
And I am so sorry about that.
Please forgive me for everything I have done or said.
You were right the guy for me.
I wish I could been right girl for you.
I am so sorry for ending this relationship.
I don’t wanted you to leave me.
I don’t wanted anything of this.
Now I have to live with mistake now.
I know one day will be right girl for you, but I might be too late for that.
The only thing I wanted for you is to being with me but now I can’t being with you.
Maybe one day but not now but I will be fine without you.
But I hope you will be fine without me.
I always imagine me being with someone like you.
But We never could make that work out.
But I wanted to work thing out.
I don’t wanted you leave me.
I can’t believe this is the last time I will ever kiss you beautiful lips.
This is last time I will ever feel your touch.
I hope one day I will fell in love with someone again but not right now.
Now things must end.
And I am sorry for that.
I wish I could have a second chance with you.
It might be too late for that.
Please don’t forget me and whut I done for you.
Since I leave you I have been really down and sad.
Now I realize that I need you in my life.
I hate the fact that you are not in your life anymore.
I wish I could change the past but I couldn’t.
And I am sorry for that.
That is the only thing regret.
I regret pushing you away from me.
I wish I could take back everything I have said or done but I couldn’t.
I always wanted to be with you.
I hope one day you would forgive me.
The day I leave you I was so anger at you, I never wanted to leave things like that.
It has been 7 days and I really need you here with me.
But I know you would never been there for you.
I though you would be I one for me, thought wrong.
I have been feeling so weak ever since I left you.
I have been feeling so depression ever since I left you.
I haven’t stop crying ever since I left you.
I hate feeling this way.
I realize now that you are perfect guy for me.
But I don’t know if I was perfect for you.
I wish I had you back into my life.
I miss you so much.
Please come back to you.
I am so sorry for everything.
I hope one day will come back to me.
I am glad now that we are not together.
I know now we can’t be together.
I hate the fact that you treat me like shit.
And I don’t understand why you are treat me like that.
I am lying on the bed covered in blood.
You have stab me in the back.
And you left me for dead.
How could you left me here, bathing in my own blood.
Now I hope you go to hell.
For all of your sin.
- Mood:
exhausted
A Deep Empty Hole in my Heart
I can’t take much more of this.
I feel so numb all the time.
I am so weak and I can’t fight this off.
I scream out for someone to help me.
I wish this feel would go away.
Please god to take this pain away from me.
I hate the fact that I have to go threw this depression all by myself.
Now I am on the floor in pain because of the numbness that will not go away.
I feel so sad all the time.
I wish I couldn’t feel like this anymore.
No one care about me anymore.
I find that nothing makes me happy anymore.
So many times I try to make myself happy and Fails all the time.
I miss being with my love.
I wish that you could come back to me.
I try so hard not to think about you.
Every time I try to think about you I always end up hurting myself.
When I do Started to think about you and always end up feeling so numbness.
Than comes the darkness from my heart.
Than I fall into a deep depression.
I am so sorry my love that I feel like this.
I wish that you could take away all my pain.
I hate feeling so numb.
Please I wish someone could help me.
I wish you could understand what I am going threw.
Please Understand That I love you so much.
And I wish that I could be loved by you.
Please my love Come back to me I need you here with me.
Every time I try to tell you something you always have to start fight about it.
Sometime I do wonder if you really love me.
Or you are just saying that.
I just want to know that truth on how you feel about me.
Believe me when I say I do love you.
And I don’t want to lose you.
This is only thing I wanted you to know before I try to commit suicide.
I hope you could forgive me for everything I have done and said.
Even Now it still broke my heart to say this to you in person.
That is why I am writing this note for you.
I love you my love.
Bye my love.
- Mood: numb
determinedI remember the first time that I fell for you.
You were so dark and sad.
No color in your face.
You wore all black and your hair was black.
The moon was at its highest point when I decided to go for a walk.
And that is where I saw you feed on her, I mean you feed on a young girl from my dreams and her blood went down his pale white arm.
He walked toward me and kissed me with his beautiful bloody red lips.
And he pushed me away from him.
The only thing I remember is he hit me cross the face.
I fell to the ground and he coughed me and he takes me to his castle on the hill.
I woken up by an aloud howl from outside my window.
You were right by side me.
I try to ask he question but he just walked away.
He say to me “I should go back to sleep.”
I walked up to the window and I notion that it was still night time.
So I tried to go back to sleep but few hours ago he came into my bed and started to bitten my neck and than he kissed me good night and left me in a sheet of blood, I can feel my rushing down my neck.
And kept on say “why I’m trapped in this castle with a vampire for a master and a lover”
Why can’t I go home?
I can feel your cold pale white hands going down my body.
When he touch’s me, he always told me the he will always love me, and I could never leave him.
Or he would kill me before I had a chance to walk out that door.
I don’t care about him anymore.
I am tired of being his slave.
I am tired of be in his castle.
I am tired of be lock away like a wild animal.
I am not a wild animal who has to be in a cage.
His heart is made out of ash.
He has no soul.
He doesn’t feel anything.
I tired to stand to him, but I failed badly.
He hit me cross the face for trying to leave him.
He has no soul.
He hit me for the last time.
I can’t take it much more of his fucken bullshit.
He tried to lock me up again.
I screamed for someone that can help me.
But no one came to help me.
This time I was close enough the window.
So I take my head and broken the window.
Blood came rushing down from my head.
I tried to stop the bleeding but I failed.
My master came in the room and fined me on the floor, bleeding everywhere.
He tried to wake up but I have already passed on to the underworld.
Before I die I wrote a suicide note to my master.
The love I had for him it disappears like dust.
That is my love for him nothing but dust.
I disappear like dust.
No one will miss me.
I was nobody.
I was just dust nothing but dust.
I can’t see anything, all I can see is the darkness nothing else.
There is no heaven or hell just darkness.
My life was a waste of time.
Good- bye my sweet master.
I hope you read my suicide note.
Good bye sweet life.
- Mood: depressed
My love I am your victim.
But love you ..
You make me question myself.
Why do you do that to me .
You make me feel depression all the time.
You tell me that you love me, but you don’t love me.
But you betrayed me, once before .
But I let you back in my life .
Why did I let you in my life again and again.
I hate you now for what you have done to me.
Thought we had a perfect relationship now I thought wrong.
You are never here for me .
Like you say you are .
You say that you are sorry but you not sorry.
I would loved you forever.
But you had to control like animal.
you think I am breakable.
You can’t fix me.
Why are you trying to fix me.
Why are you treat me this way.
You should not treat me this way.
I love you, but you don’t love me back .
You sit down at the table without say hello to me.
I hate you now .
You never care about me.
Why does you started to date.
This my lost love .
My love why do you treat me so bad .
I need you to say that you loved me.
I am so lonely without you.
You die long time ago and I don’t know who are you .
my love has left me here all by myself .
I through that I don’t need him be my side but I was wrong .
When you left me here all by my side I through that you die in the war.
You forgot about me why ?
I became suicidal when you left me.
I hurt myself to forgot you memory.
I lay on my bed just thinking of you.
I am on my bed I have a razorblade be side I am cut my wrist ..
The blood is drop down mine floors .
No one is here to help me through this.
My lost love is no long with me.
It hurt to think about you.
My body is weak and I can’t move it because I have been cut up my body.
Finally my lost love has come back to me.
Its has been so long since he left me.
He come in the house and seen me on the floor and bleeding from my wrist .
I can’t never rest in peace.
I through that I lost you my love.
I did lost you, you were in that war.
That bloodily war.
You don’t have to fight in that war.
That war changed you .
Now you lost me forever.
- Mood: depressed
My life has been big lies.
I can’t take much more of his lies.
He lies about what he has been doing.
He lies about where he works.
Now I know truth now.
There is nothing he can do about it.
I don’t need him anymore.
Our whole relationship was just a lie.
I just left him to die there.
But my love for you is poison by your lies.
But sometime you make me sick with your lies.
But sometime I think that still needs be my side.
But I wish you can love the way I love you.
I scream for you to help me.
But you don’t answer me back.
Why?
Do you hate me so much?
That our love is a one big lies.
When you lie to you, you just broke my heart.
I can’t talk to you any more.
I can’t be your side any more.
You don’t wanted me be your side.
You don’t think I am beautiful any more.
You just yell at me all the time.
I cry all the time.
Just to take away my pain.
I wish you can talk to me about this problem.
Why do you hate me?
I try so hard to love you.
I still want you to love me.
Why did you just leave me alone?
Why are you selfish.
Why should I let hurt any more .
You tell me , that you wouldn’t hurt me .
But you lie about that too.
Why do you lie about yourself ?
You are so lucky I still love you .
I am now tired of your lies.
I hate you now.
You told to believe in myself.
You take that away for me.
I hate you for the way you broke my heart.
I scream out for you .
I cut just to know that I am alive.
I cry to know that someone out would hear my cries.
I run away from you because you are never here for me.
Why do i really belong in this world ?
Do I really belong here with you.
You don’t make me feel better.
You just make me feel like shit..
No more feeling like this.
Everybody broke a part of my heart .
Now I dead with a empty heart .
That everybody broken.
Bye you selfish people .
- Mood: depressed
A world who only care about themselves than care about other people feelings.
In this world you will find people who would hurt you or lie to you.
And some people will just kill you.
This world is really weird.
Those people are really dumb and they should mine they own business.
They always make fun of me why can’t they leave me alone.
I am pride of be different .
That is why I hate living in this hateful world.
There are few people who can understand my feelings.
I wish this hateful world can just leave me alone.
I am cry now because nobodies can leave me alone.
I just wanted to be alone.
They will be hide your back.
That is why I hate this world.
Those people has no respect for other people.
I am really piss off at people who think they are better than everybody else.
I cry so much when people make fun of me.
I am all alone in this hateful world.
I am tired of see the same thing over and over again.
I am start to only care about me.
I am tired of care about everybody else.
This life is boring.
I hate the way people treat me just because I am a Goth.
Why would I care about everybody else they don’t care about me or my feels when they make fun of me.
I try to be nice to they but they are so dumb they just push me away.
I really hate this world and with everybody else that I hate.
This hateful world makes me depressed all the time.
I am tired of trying to talk to those people.
This hateful world was once beautiful but it crap place to live in now.
But it just make me sick be look at it.
I hate the way people treat this planet.
They should treat the earth right.
Those people will’s change into good people.
Why should I try to say anything to those people.
It like I can’t be myself.
But why can I just be myself.
Why should I dress a certain ways just for you.
Its not like they care about me.
They judge me.
Why should I live in this crap hateful world.
Maybe I should end my life right now.
If no more is got respect me for who I am.
Than why should live any more.
Good- bye hateful world.
My life will mean something on the other side.
I feel so out of place.
Because of this hateful world is choke the life out of me.
I try to fight it .
My depressed is becoming very strong.
I just let it take over me.
I wish god can see the way people is treat the earth like.
I wish I can let the people know how I am feel about anything they are doing to everybody and themselves.
What should I do to make my life mean something.
Why do people think I am a bad person.
I try so hard to be friendly to they.
Now I ended my life because of this hateful world.
- Mood: depressed
I hate my normal life in this world.
I don’t belong in this world.
I think I belong a world that would likes me for who I am.
Not this world.
People is so rude, and they don’t care about anyone expect for their self.
We only have are self in the end.
There is nothing expect for the cold dark place in hell.
There is nothing you can do about it.
Someday you will go to that dark place.
I will dead for mine sins.
Maybe someday I will dead for mine sins.
I should leave this world.
I love walk through a graveyard.
I wish I could just disappear from this dark place.
I don’t how to disappear like I said.
Without mine beautiful world there is nothing for me here…
Lay a razorblade near a black rose.
And I watch the blood hit the dead ground.
I put down a black rose near the tombstone now pray.
I wish all the bad people can go to hell.
This world is a dream, something that is in my mind.
I wish I can just wake up but can’t.
Why can’t wake up from this nightmare I am having.
I am saying to myself why me.
Why did god choose me?
Why was I born for what reason?
I wish I could just disappear from this dark cold place.
I can hear the wolves crying at the moon.
I can feel the pain from night before.
The pain is non thinkable.
When I try to think about the pain it got lost in my mind.
My whole arm plus my wrist is so weak.
The pain is very painful today I cannot feel anything.
Why do I feel this way?
I can still hear the wolves crying.
Sometime when I hear the crying of wolves I sometime cry with them.
Please god something as come over me, and now I need your help with this.
A Disease I have now, and this disease will take my life.
I would like to disappear from this dark cold place.
This disease poison’s my mind, and I can’t escape from this disease.
It will take over me.
Please help me god I know you are there.
Please answer me this is the time that I need you.
All I can see is death.
No life no death just a very painful death.
Now I crying while I am pray to god.
So now my tear turn to blood.
God can’t help me now.
I curse to death to have this disease in my blood.
A world without me will fall into darkness.
This world is terrible now.
I hate be in this world.
Why I am alone, disappearing.
Why god, or is there some else there right now.
Can they hear my cries?
I need someone to hear now.
Because I am dying and I need your power to make me young.
Please help me.
I would like to disappear from this dark cold place.
I feel so alone now there is nobody for me in this dark cold place in my mind.
There is nothing here for me.
Nothing seeps for my own company with me.
I love be alone, there is nobody is this dark cold place.
I feel safe in this dark cold place.
I can feel my end is coming soon.
However, when is it got be the end of me?
Please kill me I don’t want to be in this place no more.
I am sorry god I failed you can you forgiven me please.
I don’t want to be in this dark cold place please help me.
This is the end for me.
- Mood:
awake
I am a fallen angel I was right beside god but him betrayed me.
And now I am stake in this horrible world.
How could the someone loved by everybody become so horrible guy?
I am here telling everybody my story.
I am just depression because I am stake in this world forever.
I wish someone could save me for this hell.
I was loved be god but I just hated him.
I am still wait in the same him leave me.
I do wish him would let me come back to heaven.
What did I do to got kick out heaven?
Please answer me O god please.
I want know why you kick me out of heaven.
Is it because I lost my faith in you?
Maybe its because I am a fallen angel or what?
I am fallen angel because of you.
If you haven’t betrayed me like you did I would be still a regular angel and be your side.
I will be never happy in tell you bring me back to heaven and let me become an angel again please god.
Sorry god for what I have done to you.
You should say sorry me to.
Oh ya I forgot you don’t want to forget me that is way you have it came to got me.
You finally answer I am ask for you forgiven please let me come back.
How come I can’t come back to heaven?
Its would make me so happy if I can see the gate of heaven just one more time.
I have been in hell never since you kicked me.
Will I never find love again?
You know the story how I was betrayed by god.
I while be in hell before coming back to you.
I have real life here.
I know the real truth about god and how he betrayed people close to him and angels close to him.
The devil can take me when I am dead.
I am just a fallen angel who lost her faith.
An angel that has no religion any more.
An angel that has no believes.
An angel is dead but alive at same time.
It just start to rain and I am stand in the rain.
I say to god “why can’t you forget. I don’t anything to devise to get betrayed.”
I am no long an angel but I am a human now.
I give up everything just to be free from you.
I feel like my life is falling part.
I wish I would never be in heaven again.
My tear starts to fall down my face.
Like the rain that comes now it’s gone.
Like my heart.
I can’t believe that I am a fallen angel and god never let me into heaven again.
Anything that I did you he was from my heart.
I just have moment in heaven to say good bye to all of friend I am got dead tonight and heaven will not caught who do I look to bring me down very safely who is out there.
My dear lord I know we battled hard for someone’s soul I was wonder if you can take me into your home I promise I will follow you.
I will be your fallen Angel.
I promise you this I will follow you and I will never betray you like god did to me.
Thank you my lord.
I am a fallen angel for the Devil.
- Mood:
creative
In the Darkness
I am in the shadows.
I am hide in the darkness.
I am harmless in the darkness…
Please god helps me...
Why am I here?
Please god just take me to heaven.
I just want to be free from the darkness.
Man comes to at night.
In than he hides in the Darkness.
And than he sucks my blood.
What is he?
Why has he come to me?
He say he want me.
But why does he want me.
I feel good when I am in his arms.
I see heaven in his eyes.
Why do I feel this way?
Touching you making me feel something I never felt before.
I have been unhappy even since you left me here alone.
The deep sadist in my heart …its deeper than anything even felt before.
I wish that I had someone to help me.
However, I don’t have anyone.
I cut my wrist and than my wound started to blood.
Than my love came back and saw me on the floor.
Before killing myself I wrote my love a letter.
I left a black rose at the side of the note.
A tear drop down from my loves face when he is reading my note.
An guardian angel come toward him.
The guardian angel whispered to him your wife as commit suicide.
The guardian angel whispered to him I would do whatever I am able to do.
I can’t hand be part from her.
For that reason, if I can be with her, I will kill myself.
Therefore, I gap a cable, and I hang myself.
I will go to hell for all of my sin.
Farewell terrible world.
That was my last words to everyone.
I am no one.
I am now a spirit.
I am in the afterlife, wait for god to send me to paradise to be next to my wife.
I can’t wait for her to come to me.
I feel so lonely without my love.
I just would like to be with her
Why God?
Why can’t I see her?
I would die for her.
Please can I see her, just want to see her for a moment.
I will be so happy if I can see my wife for a moment.
Please god?
I wish you could let me see my wife.
Please?
I want to be with her right now.
I can see my beautiful wife.
Heaven is beautiful at this moment, we are together now.
My Dark Strange
My dark Strange.
Where have you been.
I have waiting all my life.
I have been betrayed by him but he doesn’t care who he betrayed.
I have been feeling down and angry about getting betrayed.
My dark Strange I don’t know no more.
You are a Stranger to me.
My dark Strange.
If I die trying to kill you.
I will come back but it will be my Spirit.
And my spirit will kill you.
How dare you come back to my house.
How dare you say you love me.
You betrayed why would I trust you.
You have take something from me and I want it back.
I am a angry person because I getting betrayed by you.
My dark strange.
I just want what you tock from me.
That was my innocents
You take my innocents from me I want it back.
He hit me across the face.
He see me in tears.
He didn’t care about what he did to me.
He take me to his house and he take over me.
My dark strange.
I was so depression what he do to me.
So I cut myself 5 time on my wrist.
I watched my blood hit the broken ground.
I have no hope left in my life.
He has hurt me in some many different ways I don’t know if I can survive this life.
I have lost all the thing in my life.
My feeling for him is angry and sorrow when I feel this way I start to cry.
I know he betrayed and take over me.
The passion of my hate for he is strong.
Right now my soul is filling up with darkness and evil.
My heart as been filling up with hate and love.
My dark strange.
How I hate you so much.
And have a good life in hell.
- Mood: artistic
Frozen in Time
I am Frozen in Time.
I don’t belong in this world.
I belong in a world filled with magic and life but this world have but just black anyway I go.
Why I am any what purpose do I have here.
I am frozen in time.
When am I .
I am lost, in this time.
I see those people dress all in black one of those people look at me creepy way.
I had a good life when I am from.
But I did hate my life I know I stall not say that.
I am frozen in time.
My tear fall from my face .
A dark cloud come on top of me.
Something came over me I feel confused, lost, sad, lonely .
Why do I feel this way.
I am frozen in time.
No one I can really trust here.
So I don’t speak a word about my life or anything else.
I am so lonely in this place.
I scream out for anybody who would listen to me.
My sickly is taking over me.
Someone please help me.
I am frozen in the time.
Here comes my suicide, my life doesn’t want to work for me.
I am scary of my nightmare I just make.
With a world doesn’t work for me I don’t know why I feeling this way about death.
So I hanging myself.
Now I am dead.
I am frozen in time.
- Mood:
confused - Music:Emile Autumn - I Want My Innocence Back
My empty life
My empty life.
I have nothing in this place.
I can still here long because I should move on to heaven.
Why can’t I leave this place.
Why is life so short .
I really didn’t care about my life.
I am depression all the time in this place.
I feel like my depression will drive me to kill myself.
My empty life.
I have no meaning in my life no more.
My reason for I not wanting to still and live in this world.
I don’t want to live no more.
Darkness has over come me .
There is on one that can help me.
My madness drive me to cry and feel so down all the time.
My empty life.
My heart as be filled with darkness.
So I start to slit my wrist and cry because of pain I put on myself.
My life means nothing to me.
I walk though the graveyard and I was think about my death.
Why do I any have to feel this way.
I want all of this pain to go away.
I wish the everybody will leave me alone.
My empty life.
I am near to my death.
My depression is take over me.
What should I do to stop this feeling.
I do want to die.
I cut myself so deep that’s what kill me.
I haunt myself and my family’s dreams.
My empty life.
I blood know I will never come home.
I am now die . I don’t believe in my life no more.
I am a ghost now.
I am so empty inside now.
My family put me down in the ground.
They visit my tombstone any day.
And they cry because they know I will never be alive again.
My empty life.
I am hating myself because I kill myself.
My death was so simple and just cut myself.
Welcome to my empty life.
- Mood:
crazy - Music:Emile Autumn - The Art of Suicide
Alone
Why I am feel so alone.
Maybe its because no one want to trust me.
I am talk to myself because some people don’t trust Goth.
I just start to cry when I run up to my room.
They are pisses with me when telling they I am depressed.
So I cut my wrist.
I don’t want to cry no more.
I don’t want to feel pain no more.
Please God.
God please give me the power to make mine pain go away.
People say that they love me but they always yell and hurt me.
I am fallen into darkness and this time is no coming back and if I do come back I will the undead.
So I am still in my room.
And I am cast a spells that hurt everybody that hurt me.
I scream out for someone that can hear me.
I don’t have a perfect life.
I am so depressed I really want to kill myself.
So I am lay on my room and I found part of glass and I just start cut my wrist.
So deep that is what killed me.
They put me in a casket and than they also put me in the ground.
Everybody scream and cried about me.
When they put me in the ground.
When I was alive nobodies liked me.
I am alone.
I have no one be my side.
It’s just the earth and me together again.
- Mood: depressed
- Music:Razorblade Kiss - HIM
My Dark love
My dark love.
How you hurt me in so many different ways
Why do I love you but that love I have for you it’s turning into hate.
I really do love him but he doesn’t care about my feeling.
He has no heart.
If you he really had a heart.
He would know how much I love him.
My Dark Love.
Why do you treat me so bad?
I know that he has good inside.
I can feel it.
My heart is slowly filling up with hate.
He is the angel of death.
He comes in my room to do one thing that is to suck my blood dry.
My dark love.
I told him that I am an angel from Heaven sent down to watch over you.
You will never be human again but I can show you a path that you have to take if you want to be free from your demons.
Your soul can rest in peace if you want to change.
God see what you have been doing.
You soled your soul to the devil.
Just to become a vampire.
But why?
I sold my soul but I just want see if be a vampire is better than being a human.
My dark Love.
I am sorry my love.
I know that you are in love with me.
And I just want to let you know that I also love you too.
When I go to Hell for my sin
I am got miss you.
Please I am asking you.
Please don’t send me to hell.
Please.
I promise to stop being a vampire,
I can change, please.
I just want to be human again.
The Angel told him, you can’t be human again, and you have to be a vampire forever.
I will not send you to hell.
- Mood: crappy
